Guns

Nothing is more American than guns. Guns set us free from our British oppressors. And guns help us police the world for Democracry, Freedom and Oil. But the liberal media would have you believe that guns are responsible for tens of thousands of deaths every year from suicide and murder. They miss one important fact. Guns don't kill people.

That's right, guns don't kill people. Neither do bullets. People do. Bad people. People who should be put in jail. A jail that can keep them away from society. And, god-willing, be profitable.

The simple fact is that if you take guns away, crime doesn't drop. The bad guys will simply switch to knives, piano wire, cars, anvils and other lethal weapons. We can't possibly outlaw everything. Look at England or any other country that restricted guns. Things got worse. Freedom and democracy suffer.

So join us in ensuring that our children and our children's children can enjoy an America with a gun on every street corner, in every alley, in every school and in every office. And remember to share our message: "FROM OUR COLD, DEAD HANDS!"