Press Room

WASHINGTON - Today, the Republican National Committee (RNC) is proud to announce the historic merger of The Republican Party, The Trump Corporation, Fox News, the Proud Boys, Hobby Lobby, and Truth Social. The result of months of rebranding and merger discussions has led to the creation of The Regressive Party. The new 'conservative party of the future' is destined to lead America into a shining future of the Way Things Used To Be™.

The Regressive Party (RP) Chairman Lara Trump expressed relief stating "I can't believe we finally found a brand that fits our values, our politics and our way of life as well as The Regressive Party does. It's a brand and a political movement that everyone can get behind as we take America back! And back! And even further back!"

MAGA leader and former reality show host Donald Trump agreed, adding "There has never been a more beautiful, perfect, and strong party. And only I can lead it. Whether you are a person, a woman, a man, a camera, or a television, we all became Obama's *incoherrent mumbling* [editor's note, figure this out later]"

The Regressive Party notes that it is still transitioning to a single entity, so some websites and printed materials will still be out of date and some members may express confusion about the new branding, but news organizations and fellow politicians can feel confident in calling us all by our new name: Regressives.

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